Monday, February 21, 2011

30 (Part 3)

Well, you made it to the last installment of my birthday extravaganza. I've now been 30 for one month. In the last month I've had a 60 year old woman tell me that she owned the same pair of shoes I was wearing and a nurse at the hospital ask me if I was the grandmother of my friend's newborn.

Turning 30 has definitely been....a bit...of a transition. Mainly because of those expectations we all have for ourselves. In reality I never really placed an age with my goals, but society uses 30 as a gauge of sorts.

As we all know, things don't always happen by the time we think they should. I know that there are things that haven't happened...just because they haven't. It's not that I could have done anything different or prayed harder. And there are definitely those things, that looking back, I'm so glad they didn't end up like I wanted. You know that cheesy song by Garth Brooks that says, "I thank God for unanswered prayers?" Well, even though I don't believe my prayers go unanswered, I'm so thankful that He has said "NO" to many of mine. I ever thankful for His ability to see what I can't.

There are many things that I'm still asking God for. As each day passes and I wonder where exactly He's leading me, I'm getting better at understanding that I truly do want HIS best for me. I've been putting the wrong emphasis on one of my favorite verses for years and only recently changed the way I say and think about it

Psalms 37:4 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."

For so long, I was focused on what I needed to do in order for Him to fulfill my desires. I created this formula for myself that a + b = I get what I want. Focusing on what it meant to delight myself in the Lord was not a bad thing, but the reason I was doing it was. Bottom line, my thoughts were "What do I need to do in order to get the life that I think is best for me?

Now I read the verse and put the emphasis on the words "HE WILL GIVE." I want Him to GIVE ME my desires....I want to desire the things that He wants me to desire.

I was recently reading Oswald Chamber's,
My Utmost For His Highest, and this quote seemed to fit where I'm at in a lot of ways.

"God does not give us overcoming life-He gives us life as we overcome. When the inspiration of God comes, and He says, "Arise from the dead...," we have to get ourselves up; God will not lift us up. Our Lord said to the man with the withered hand, "Stretch out your hand" (Matthew 12:13) As soon as the man did so, his hand was healed. But he had to take the initiative to overcome, we will find that we have the inspiration of God, because He immediately gives us the power of life."

Taking the initiative isn't always comfortable and easy. I'm trying to change a few things that I can and there are definitely things in my life that I'm "stretching out my hand" for. Because after all, Hillsong and Romans 8:11 reminds us, the same power that conquered the grave lives in me!


Anonymous said...

Wow....a ton of wisdom and insight for a youngster of 30! Keep stretching, you won't regret it!

Love you, Dad

Suzanne said...

Well said. You are right on - even from a distance I can 'see' you delighting in Him. Keep on sister!

Elizabeth said...

I loved reading this and hearing your heart. I especially loved this line... As each day passes and I wonder where exactly He's leading me, I'm getting better at understanding that I truly do want HIS best for me... it resonates with where I'm finding myself these days. It encourages me to see the many ways you are seeking God, seeking to know Him more. I love you friend! Wishing I could hug you and spend an afternoon catching up on life....