Monday, August 03, 2009

Plateau

It seems that I've hit a bit of a blog plateau....a blogteau perhaps? I don't know what to blog about, because it all seems silly compared to the unknowns in my life right now. Gone are the days of blogging about meeting up with Savannah, looking for funny things to post about the 'ville, and the craziness of being an RD. Don't get me wrong, there are things about KY that I do miss, but I am beyond thrilled to have moved on from there. Because I don't have a job, place to live or hometown, it makes this time of waiting in Florida creep by very slowly. So instead of another edition of Adventures in Job Hunting, how about a peak into what else is going on in my mind?

Before I came to Florida, I had high expectations for my new life here. After I arrived, pretty much everything changed and now I'm here....realizing that once again I've learned an important life lesson. I suppose we're never too old for that.

To put it plainly, I was never crazy about moving back here (clue #1). It's a long story, that goes back a few years, but I'll spare you (you're welcome). Despite my previous experience with this exact location, I let my feelings get involved in the decision making process. When feelings take over, sometimes it's hard to remember that feelings are not facts. I felt that I couldn't live without being close to my family one more day. "You deserve to be close to them..and there is a Target there!" I told myself. So I packed up my things and moved to be with them...even after a dear friend and mentor cautioned me against it. (clue #2)

That's where it gets funny. Shortly after I arrived, I said goodbye to my brother Adam, niece Story and Sister-in-Law Amy Ruth. Not only are they family, they really are 2 of my closest friends. They were moving a few states away to start a new and exciting job. As I watched the moving truck drive away holding 3 of the 5 reasons I moved here, it hit me.

I will no longer make a major life decision based solely upon the proximity to my family. Yes, it would be great if we all lived near each other forever....but knowing my family and the gypsies that we are, I don't know if that will ever happen. Not to mention the fact that I know that the Lord has plans for each of us. Plans to prosper us and not to harm us. Plans to give us a hope and a future. As hard as it is, who am I to say no to those plans because it might not be in the same city as my loved ones?

So now what?

I don't know. I have a few ideas that I'm praying about and pursuing. I'm optimistic about the future and I'm asking the Lord for big things.
Besides, I like being a gypsy.

3 comments:

Shannon said...

I'm sorry you find yourself in a situation so difficult to find... direction? purpose? clarity on the path God is leading? You are a special gal (I can't bring myself to say lady... it sounds creepy) and I know it will sort out eventually. It's my prayer that you find happiness, humor, and lessons learned as you look back on this time. Keep trusting. :-)

The Bug said...

I always knew that I couldn't live near my family in NC if I wanted to maintain my personhood. That said, as we've gotten older my hubby & I have thought that it might be nice someday... Um, no. We were visiting a few weeks ago & all the old reasons washed over us again. We'll go where the job leads (he's a university history professor), which currently is the middle of Ohio.

It's good to figure that out - to get guilt & pie-in-the-sky out of the way & realize that where you are should be about YOU, not your family. Good luck with the job search!

crispy said...

I think all your thoughts are totally normal. You have spread your wings and it is hard to head back toward the nest. I will pray that God directs very clearly for you and that you will find His will for you and His plans.

You are welcome to head this way. We would love to see you.